I have so much stuff coming at me that instead of actually getting anything done, i go into shut down mode and do shit all. I hate when that happens… when i do this. Then I start making excuses… i have a cold, the left side of my mouth is throbbing with pain, I work too much… blah blah blah. fuck, why cant i just stop procrastinating. fuck fuck fuck.
anyways, i woke up yesterday morning with horrible pain in two of my teeth on the left side of my mouth, and ive been popping painkillers every four hours since. I have a project for almost every class due in the next two weeks and im freakin. Im trying not to stress, but I am, about school, about money! ugg…
I went from the first day of school to the last day of September without a day off. I was either working or at school everyday. Now Im getting at least one day off a week and I just waste it, usually napping. I love to nap. But, if i dont work enough hours, I dont make enough money, then I spend too much of my savings.. then the future Emily is getting screwed over.. and fuck. When I tell people I go to school with how much I work, they freak out and ask me why my parents arent paying for anything. That makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time! some bastards dont know how good they got it… but then again they are bastards who have no work ethic and wouldnt be able to take care of themselves if their lives depended on it… so i guess i win.. i win at life. fuck you, daughters of doctors and the like, fuck you mother fuckers. man i have a high fever.. yay!
Since I moved to Vancouver Ive been told twice, by two seperate people that I remind them of Miranda July. I cant think of a person id want to be compared to more. yay. Im going to clean my room now and sleep. nice talking with you.. computer
